I have to say I do believe OP likely developed verbal deception into their adulthood and utilizes it to their ill-gotten advantage. Possessing the ability to boastfully and humorously post this scenario to a social media platform such as Readdit shows the low that OP has acheived. This is typical of the 18-35 crowd. They were raised by Generation X who took everything their parents taught them and deposited it in the toilet. Their new way of parenting by allowing the technological devices to babysit their children has devolved our younger generations into a level ineptitude and deceit scarcely seen. I recommend OP come clean and I may (extremely improbable though) remove the downvote I gave to this post.