Don't go deeper. Find your original spiritual beliefs, return to them. If you don't have any, find them.

You will never be able to confirm any of it is real, you will fuck yourself up even more than you think is possible. The human mind can deconstruct and reconstruct the sense of self over and over again but each time it will leave behind existential dread.

Check out Curt's journey on his "Theories of Everything" podcast. Watch specifically the interview with Diana Walsh Pasulka. Do yourself a favor and watch the whole thing.

Then run to the fucking hills to whatever support you can get. It's either beings fucking with you or all in your own head, neither are worth hanging around for, especially while it's all unknown.

It's probable all of us will experience this, you, definitely are experiencing it. It's dangerous and you need to at least be aware of what you're wading into.

You're playing with fire in your mind.