I dated a guy for 8 months that ghosted. About a year later he called to apologize. His MO is tinder, Christian dating sites, whatever to hook up and ghost. If he really likes someone he can sleep with them and just say, nah, and then his MO is to ghost. He gets around it by thinking that every girl as the potential to be the one, until he decides they aren't compatible, after which there is no point even saying another word to them.

He wouldn't tell you that of course, because the type of "nice girl" that he wants to bring home wouldn't go for that at all.

(After saying he felt bad, he said he thought we would end up together, when the rest of sleeping around was out of his system. When I said I disagreed, he said he almost cared about me, but I was never as good as x girlfriend 123 -- forget what he ever had said :P)

Long story short, you can't doubt your philosophy just because you ran into someone that was a shit. If someone was unkind to you, that is their fault, not your failing. If someone is going to ghost though, they are going to ghost. Nothing you can say or do will change them, nothing you could ask will change them. Any promise made to you was made when they were still interested, and the instant they lose interest for any reason, your feelings or well being are of no consideration to them. It isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, and you should expect to be treated with basic decency. If someone doesn't do that, that is their failing, not yours. All you can do is when you run in to someone in your social circle that knows you both, say, yeah, this is what he does, and if he says otherwise, don't believe it.