i think its a story we get absorbed in because of the way others talk about time.

we want to think about the present because it is peaceful (unless you are bleeding or the roof is on fire). thinking about the future can lead to anxiety, and thinking about the past can lead to sadness.

the amusing part is that if you are thinking about the future, you are doing it NOW. same with the thoughts about the past. so... if your present moment is thoughts of the future, how are you not thinking about the present? lol hence the crazy confusion, and the eventual 'its always now' epiphany.

[story time]

i've gotten to watch the 'story of another dimension(time)' develop in my daughter's mind.

when she was very little and just learning to talk, she brought my attention to the fact that i would often ask her, "are you being good?", to which she would always reply, "yes".

the way she helped me realize my habit was indirectly. one day i asked her, "what are you doing?"

and her reply was, "being good."

so she was just 'being', and since i always attached 'good' to it, for her that was just one concept.

her extremely present nature continued even after she learned what people meant by 'doing'.

ie, on the phone with grandma:

"hey bella, what are you doing?"

"talking to you on the phone."

laughter "silly, i mean what else are you doing?" (or something like that)

because i know how wonderful 'now' is, this innocent, super-present nature made me proud. also, a little bummed that no one else noticed just how badass it was that she just lived in the moment and they were actively taking her away from it

so naturally, it made my heart ache the day i first noticed her 'checking out'.

she had been crying over something, doesn't matter it was resolved when i walked in. but she was still sad, so i comforted her without words. she clung to my leg like she was a toddler again (she's 8 now) and sorta spaced out. daydreaming as we call it.

after a while i stopped and gave her another hug, and finally spoke up.

"whatcha doing?"

"well i was going to lay on the couch..."

~

it's painful to believe there is another way the past could have gone.

that there is some other thing that you 'should' or 'could' be doing right now.

this is why 'when hungry, eat. when tired, sleep' is such a problem for everyone.

the real peace comes when you fully realize that you can add: 'when worried about eating, worry about eating.' lol

it's all good, all the time :)