You do not live in any neighborhood remotely resembling the hood. You live in the gentrified enclave of Nextdoor and the occasional unlocked car. Now, once you pass the train tracks into Shelby Park, notice the people standing on street corners and porches wearing red shirts, and reach the outskirts of Toonerville and stumble across your first homeless camps and spice zombies... you're still not even close to the hood. Your local hood is on Oak Street traveling toward West of 9th Street, starting at roughly 4th and Oak. Germantown is vegan food, buzzwords, craft beer, yuppies, fresh produce and lofts. Your neighbors are nice because they cooperate with police and don't hear gunfire every night or sirens every 30 minutes between buying groceries at Family Dollar and skipping syringes on sidewalks. Germantown isn't exactly a hotbed of gang activity because the police show up within ten minutes.

You're insane.