Raises hand

I’m not gonna list all the issues I’ve had with mine. You get it. But we’ve been married 10 years. We even went through a period after his mom died where he quit his job and slept and drank for a year. With 2 kids in the house.

The only thing that worked was I let it go. I stopped going up against him. I got out of his head and got him out of mine. I stopped basically mothering him. I went back to school. (He didn’t like this) I started losing weight and exercising. I left him alone with his problems. I set up boundaries (one was if you are gonna drink, leave me alone) and I stuck to them. I started modeling kind and courteous behavior and I picked up his slack for my kids sake. He turned it all around on his own.

When you step back they are forced to deal with their behavior in the absence of you. When you are in their face they think you are the problem and they never deal with themselves.

If you still love him I urge you to break away from his drama and live your life. You will either love on gradually from the marriage and separate when you are your best, or he will follow your lead and things will fall into place. If you leave now, everyone takes their unresolved baggage into the next relationship.