I can't give away too much because I signed a non-disclosure agreement prior to taking this job, but...

I was hired to perform at the birthday party of a female media (can't reveal which domain) star. This event took place in a secluded location in the southwestern US, probably ~30 miles away from the nearest human habitation. The festivities went on for three days and the debauchery was like something out of the middle ages. I'll touch upon some salient points:

-A number of exotic animals were brought in. I did a striptease while riding atop an elephant
-There was a pool filled with champagne. What, are you surprised? -A line of women took turns doing lines of cocaine off of my erect penis
-A poolboy and a waiter fought to the death
-Another dancer and I entered into a contest of sorts. We were both getting blown, the first to finish wins. Did I mention there were over a thousand people watching this?
-Remember the exotic animals? As we were doing cocaine off a table, a giraffe leaned down and did a line with us.

11/10, but wouldn't do again.