My grandfather would take frequent trips to a hunting cabin with his friends when I was a kid. When I got a little older, he would take me with him.

It was mainly a bunch of rough older men out in the middle of nowhere. The cabin was drafty, full of mice, and didn't even have any indoor plumbing. We all used an outhouse.

George was an old bald man that wore oil-stained work pants, too-small undershirts, and suspenders. She smoked cigars all day long and smelled like hell. He also had a piss jug. In the middle of the night, too lazy to haul his fat ass out of bed to the outhouse, he'd piss in a big glass jar he kept by his bed. Everyone gave him a hard time about it, of course, but that didn't stop him.

One year, I found myself at another hunting cabin, this one belonging to a couple of other guys my granpa knew. These guys loved to hunt racoons. They'd let their dogs run at night and when they'd run one up a tree, we'd all jump in a truck and go find them. How this was considered hunting," I'm not sure.

One of those nights, though, I found myself not feeling too well. I stayed in the cabin while all the other guys went traipsing about the countryside with the hope of killing some defenseless animal. But about halfway through the night, I had to take a wicked piss, and I remembered George.

I didn't have a piss jar. But I did have access to a bunch of styrofoam cups. And instant coffee. I had a wonderful idea.

I relieved myself, almost overfiliing the cup. I mixed in a spoonful of instant coffee. The aroma was less offensive than I imagined. I took a sip. Not terrible. Another spoonful of instant coffee. It was tolerable and the caffeine made me feel better.

Piss coffee became my favorite beverage. I'd drink 6 cups of water before bed, wake up in the middle of the night and relieve myself into a thermal caraffe. I'd mix in some instant coffee, give it a little stir, and it would still be acceptable warm in the morning. Every day before school, I drank my special brew.

I found that if I varied my diet a bit, I could achieve different flavor notes. Asparagus and red meats imparted an acrid, foul odor and the coffee had more of an ammonia note than I was used to. Citrus fruits gave the coffee a nice brightness. Leafy greens in moderation gave the beverage a grassy, fresh aftertaste.

Maxwell House: Good to the last drop.