Me [21 M] with my friend [21 M]. He complains about never having a girlfriend and I can't convince him that he is the reason.

It's insecurity. A person like this has never experienced the connection with another person that makes them realize others are people like him. I bet someone close to him rejected him in early age. He doesn't accept himself. That's why he puts on this big show and lists his "worths" because he doesn't value his own inherent worth, nor believe that anyone else does. Sure people like this are assholes, but they think they have to build up this wall to protect themselves from being seen. These people are ashamed of their existence. Unfortunately it is far to easy to put up the wall and find justifications for it. This pushes any chance of getting close to someone further and further away, when this is exactly what is needed to see that the world is not full of "them" but actually is full of people just like him where he can feel accepted and validated. The only way out of this cycle is very patient people that recognize what is going on, and not just that these people are assholes. Unfortunately that's rare. Most of these people will spend their lives suffering inside and being hated by others.

/r/relationships Thread Parent