Me [22/F] with my Dad [58/M], he told me he was sexually abused as a child - how can I help him? Is it my place to try to help?

I had to comment-I was also abused by priests and nuns as a child-I am now in my fifties and it is always there. There is a profound loss when abused by someone in a religious capacity--(I'm speaking for me)--they said god would never love me for "tempting them" into molesting me--that is devastating when you're in a convent and they are selling you life after death. It made me feel like I was literally all alone--that there would be no salvation--I say this because when that happens, you have no choice but to rely on yourself--you don't let people in-you don't talk about it--you just deal with it-that is one of the reasons why your father doesn't want to talk about it (among others I am sure) That being said...he did talk to you (it's a tremendous secret to hold all those years when your inner child is crying every night because no ones acknowledged the hurt and pain and no ones come to rescue you-even at 50 I still feel like I need to be rescued) I would just hug him whenever you can---My opinion is- let him know you remember that conversation--maybe just hug him and say--"dad I know it was tough when you were a kid--I wish I could have saved you--I know you're uncomfortable talking about it so just know I am here in your corner-I love you!" -then just go about your business. You can never heal him--you can't change his behavior or the way he has rearranged his life to deal with that huge hole that will never go away--but...and this is important----it is so easy to get lost when you're all alone in the dark--now he has someone else who knows---it doesn't change anything except that he can now place a very small part of that burden away and feel like there's someone else out there that see's that hurt inner child and actually cares for him---you sound like a very good person---don't ignore what he has told you---show him he is NOT alone--that you are there and you care! Good Luck!

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