Clearly, she needs a social worker involved right away. She may need long term care. My suggestion would be Adult Protective Services or Social Worker. She needs intense oversight and care.

I should also mention about the abuse. First, you have her family contacted and they said they never did any such thing as abuse her. Thats exactly what abusive people say when addressed that way. And I have to say she sounds like she was abused as a kid, with the obsessive behavior and almost disassociation. As to being abused by her spouse (which you know for a fact happened), its not unusual to fight back. You see it as her abusing him, but I disagree. It sounds like she was reactionary, and defending herself, but unable to see a way out. The disassociation would kick in that point, and that is just what you described. So be damn careful making assumptions with her family that you all have gone to. I find it very likely that they were abusive. And being locked in rooms like described certainly can create the dissociation.

Her current behavior, it also sounds like dissociation. She may not have the capability to know to care for herself in that state. And having her abuser have control over her now, someone you all KNOW was physically abusive to her, who thought that was a great idea? How do you know its stopped? Thats really messed up. I get it, she wasnt a great Mom. She did horrible things. But she cant handle this stuff. She needs social services here. You guys dont have to do anything.

Im not a "but faaaammmmiiilllyyy" person at all. And I get not wanting to be involved. But the tone you use, its very clear you want nothing to do with her. And hey, I get it. At least dont let her be abused by her ex anymore. Call social services. Cleaning a couch once isnt really seeing that she is safe and all. And you dont even have to do anything. Just make a few calls.