Me [26M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 5 months, I'm going to prison and she's now pregnant

Congrats on finding someone you are so deeply about, and i am sorry you are wrapped up in illegal stuff. If you are serious about her, that needs to be the past...But you know that.

Anyway, studying law and going through law school (if US, you should specify) is expensive and very time consuming. A baby is going to endanger her career, regardless of how she feels about you. There will be the risks and downsides of getting pushed aside for being a mom, on top of doing it by herself or unfortunately with her parents like a pseudo kid again. You going to prison isn't nearly as much of a danger to her future as (temporary) single parenthood. Have you all talked about what you want to do in the event of this, prior to pregnancy? It may be she feels a strong obligation or like she has to punish herself for her 'mistakes'.

Is she doing well in school? Some folks use babies as an 'out' when they aren't cutting it or realize they don't desire it enough (even really smart folks do this). It might be good to couch this as a career sent and see how she reacts. Or, if she is very logical, crunch the numbers and ask her to do the same. It might take data to convince her.

As a personal anecdote, I have two PhDs in STEM and a three month old girl. She had a life-threatening birth defect that was going to require surgery. I could discuss abortion rationally, see the financial toll things were going to take, the consequences to my lab work/grantwritng, etc. This was a planned baby and I had always said I would abort in bad times. When it came down to it, though, I wanted to try. It worked out for us (aside from medical debt which is finally being paid off today :), but was more than a house downpayment). I am even more procboice now because I could make that decision freely. Please respect her intelligence and emotions enough to have a discussion with her and let her think on it. Don't try to force her to any outcome. Respect and love her.

Good luck!

/r/relationships Thread