But that's such bullshit. If you sit there and say "I will love you forever" or "I will always love you" and you know full will that those conditions that are currently causing you to feel that way can change then aren't you just masturbating each other by cooing in those words that we so long to hear even if they are not only hollow but knowingly hollow by both parties? Is that what we have come to? "Fake feelings"?

And, no, I don't check her social media. I don't talk to her friends. We had a couple mutual friends but they didn't really stick around with me when I left. There's a difference between in-person and online relationships to me and they don't always transfer from one to the other.

I have dated. Tried to quite a bit and actually have had short-term relationships with two people since then. How is the rest of my life? It's not great. Don't have a job at the moment but that is due in part to whenever I do get a job seems like that happiness and joy of prosperity is quickly eclipsed by this constant sort of unease and lonesomeness that I feel that I lose my purpose and drive.

And really, no it's not idealized, at least I do not believe it to be. She was a cruel person that said hurtful things to me and this entire act is something that has hurt me more than anything other than my dad leaving me as a child. And yes, I know those two events are not unrelated. But who cares about the academic side of this issue, we are talking about a real situation not one from a textbook. Simply knowing the connection does not ease the pain.

Also, I would prefer people not try and play armchair psychologist (not on me, just in general). Saying you know something to be unhealthy or otherwise passing down medical grade judgements on people when you are unqualified to do so is a bit narcissistic and potentially dangerous.