Does she get off from PIV intercourse? Or do you give her oral?

She gets off from PIV and I do give her oral (which also gets her off), usually in the same session.

non-verbal cues?

Tried those too! I place her hand where I want it, she lingers for a moment, but then moves, either out of distraction or to do something else. I've even done the 80/20 thing, which she was receptive too, but she stopped after two minutes when "nothing happened". When I tried explaining what I like specifically with that stuff, she shuts it down again because talking about it is "awkward".

With a more dominate guy she may do oral, etc.

So I actually have lots of experience being a dom in my previous monogamous relationships (and a couple of casual ones) and she has expressed an interest in "letting me drive". My problem comes with the fact that she's a little awkward about sex and I'm afraid of overstepping a boundary, given her lack of experience and seeming inability to talk about it rationally before engaging.

She asked me the other night to "Do BDSM stuff" to her. When I asked her specifically what kind of "BDSM stuff" she was looking for, she couldn't vocalize it. Either she didn't know what the options were....or it's just more of the same discomfort with talking about sex. One of my rules about anything beyond vanilla is that if you can't talk about it before hand, you can't do it, simply because that stuff can go south really quickly, so it's important to talk about boundaries, expectations, and rules up front. Tried having a convo about these things with her to no avail, so I decided against engaging in it.

If that doesn't underline the complete sexual incompatibility between us, I don't know what does. I think my mind is pretty well made up at this point, but I sincerely thank you for your comments!