My mother was in the psychiatric hospital (it happened on and off throughout my life) and I was staying at a friends house…for however long it took to get back home. I woke up from a very lucid dream where this black, smoky-kind of entity was peering at me, above me in the corner of the room and I couldn’t breathe. I can still recall the feeling of it somehow holding my throat while trying to scream. I woke up, gasping for air, very scared, very young…about 10.

Another time, I was with my dad after visiting my mom in the hospital at a grocery store. I remember the hair standing on my neck and arms, feeling like there was some kind of demon/entity after me in the store itself. It would follow me underneath the rows and ails, I remember seeing it’s presence in shadows. Feeling it was the worst part. It felt like death or my fears coming after me. I was around the same age. Prior to this, I’ve had chronic insomnia and used to sleepwalk.

I have never told anyone about this really, as I’ve always thought it was a manifestation of my fear, grief and pain as a kid. However, I remember so distinctly waking up, and getting my body to breath again and how constricted my lungs and chest felt and how it hurt the front of my throat for days after.

I don’t recall much about my childhood tbh.