Oh I have some good stories about my ex for this. There are a lot of stores so it will be long. It was a long on again off again relationship that was legit abusive, emotionally and physically.
Yes these will all be from the same ex, one person, and I made the mistake of getting back with her many times because the sex was very good, I thought I was in love and I was a weak man.
1) First sign was probably that when we first hooked up I later found out she had a BF and was cheating.
2) More early signs were things like her wanting me to leave super important work functions to hang with her. no respect for anything I did professionally it was just "come hang out with me now or you're a piece of shit." Attitude. Not an exaggeration. While sometimes the day before she didn't want to give me the time of day. In one particular incident I got in a car accident and she barely have two shjts to even see if I was ok. That was before we were super serious tho. We started out as just a physical thing and later it turned into an exclusive relationship.
But the coming story is where it starts to get nuttier.
3) When she would get angry she had a tendency to break things. Plates, cups, beer bottles, glasses etc. She had cut her hand once after an argument with her ex and totally explained that it was his fault she punched that window cause he made her so mad. clearly a huge red flag, I don't remember what all the fights we had were about that led her to do these things around me except one...
3.2?) Anyway, the first time I found out she cheated on me, (yes the first time) we broke up. I was 21 at the time living in a house with a bunch of other musicians and my crappy bed was right next to the window. She in a fit was flailing all of her limbs in my bed in anger after I confronted her. Full on tantrum, (She had a cast on one leg because she recently broke her foot while drunk at her friends house, I wasn't there at the time she broke it, but I drove her to the hospital the next day). Anyway, while flailing she purposely puts her foot through the window and kicks out the glass window, so glass everywhere on my bed now too. This was January in MN so very cold. And I was so broke at the time I could barely afford rent, so I didn't get it fixed any time soon. Not like she was going to pay for it. Oh and the reason she was so mad? It wasnt out of guilt over cheating or out of grief for us breaking up. No she was so pissed off because someone had betrayed her and told me that she cheated. She didn't say sorry she was just livid that someone would tell me about it. I had to even prompt her to say sorry because she was just going on about being pissed I found out instead of showing any remorse. And yet I ignored her that night after making her go home and woke up to like 50 texts and missed calls about how she wants to stay together. That was the first time I dumped her.
But wait there is more. Next one is particularly creepy.
4) While we were broken up I made the mistake of talking to her still. And occasionally seeing her. The "let's still be friends" thing. Many mutual friends made it inevitable and I was weak. I did date someone else for a short period of time. I ended up hooking up with this other girl at her place one night. The next day I come back to my house. Same room she broke the window. One of my roommates explains to me that she not only came over to our house looking for me, she stayed all night waiting for me to come home and she slept in my bed while I was not there. Waiting all night long. He said he didn't know where I was. She never actually told me about this. I assume she was too emberassed. But yeah she waited all night in my bed for me. We were broken up and I was seeing someone else when she did this.
It's not over yet. The rest is not in chronological order.
5) whenever we would get close to breaking up and I was upset she would often use the fake pregnancy scare. When I would talk to her about it and we were no longer fighting it was all the sudden "oh it was a false alarm." Over and over again. Now this is bad enough on its own. But she tried this long after we broke up and I started dating my now wife. Which didn't make sense. And eventually when it didn't work she started telling all of our mutual friends that I had forced her to get an abortion. Full on fake crying and everything. I only found out about it because one of my buddies told me. And he actually called her out on it for lying. It was nuts. What infuriates me about this part is 1) if she got an abortion she never told me about it or talked to me about it 2) she cheated on me with 5 different guys (that I know of) so there would no way to tell if it was even mine even if it did happen. There is a little more to this but it's moot.
But we ain't done yet.
6) one time during one of our "off again" phases. We were at her places cause "let's still be friends" and she wanted to hook up. I said no. Because I was hurt by her and didnt want to. I said no many times. But she insisted. I never said yes and I froze as she bassically took it out and well things happened. Now I don't want to call it rape cause I went with it once inside. I didn't physically fight back. But I definitely never consented. I just kinda froze and let it happen. It was creepy.
Also..
Physical abuse: punching hitting scratching.
7) one time I got off stage at a local show. I played in a local band. Nothing worth talking about. Anyway. Got off stage and this was after the last time breaking up, and I was trying to avoid her and not give her attention. As I am loading my gear in my car she just comes up and slaps me across the face with as much force as she can muster. I mean I don't know if I have been hit as hard by anyone since then. Even my bandmate said he had never seen anyone take a full on slap like that. I mean this was just out of the blue anger on her part because I wouldn't give her attention. And you can see why. She was adept and emotionally manipulating me to get back with her so the only way to avoid getting cheated on again was cut all ties. That was not the only time she hit me. But it was probably the hardest and it was so random and in public. Total uncontrolled anger.
8) after we broke up the last time and I was dating my now wife, she would harass my SO all the time. And would text lies about how I'm cheating. And how I don't love her. Things like "I slept with him a few days ago" "he is lying to you" shit like that. She had her number because at one point they were friends but had long since had a falling out sincent now wife refused to take her side when she was abusive to me.. anyway She knew my now wife at the time worked late as a server on some weeknights... Well she changed her shift. And one night we were hanging out. And my ex texts my now wife that I was hanging out with her right now while my now wife was at work, not realizing that my now wife knows it's BS because my she was with me at the time. This lasted over a year after we stopped eating. Not an exaggeration. It was so bad we asked the phone company if we could block her number they said they couldn't. It was that bad.
There is more but I'm honestly just tired and sad now thinking about it all. It was a seriously emotionally and physically abusive relationship. Made it hard to trust anyone for a while after that. Been with my wife for over 10 years now and it's a very healthy relationship. But still kinda fucks me up to think about all the manipulation.