Story time:

I was heading back home from a road trip. Stopped at some middle of nowhere rest stop that was actually really well maintained. Decent amount of folks were there. I have to pee.

I head into the bathroom, but someone has clogged the urinal. So I go into the only stall. As I begin to pee, my vision adjusts and I realize there all several flies already hanging out in the stall, doing fly stuffs. Mind you, this is a road-trip-home pee. I had been holding it as long as I could just to maximize my mileage between stops.

So there I am in the stall like King Kong trying to use one arm to swat away the biplanes. But there's too many of them. I don't have to motor skills or reflexes to fend them off and, swoop by swoop, the toilet flies get closer to landing on my shame.

At this point, I'm terrified at the idea of some foamy mouthed gutter fly touching my junk, so I just started wiggling my hips. I didn't plan it. It just happened. Instinctive self defense.

I peed everywhere. The toilet itself became just a suggestion.

I finish up, Nope out of the stall, and wash my hands.

At this point a gentleman in sandals came in. I remember he wore sandals, because I will never forget how defeated and depressed sandals can look as their wearer steps into a stall that has no Earthly right to be entered. It was like I had x-ray vision. I could see his entire soul crushed as his posture hunched over.

I dried my hands on my shirt as I fled the scene, hearing a loud "GOD DAMNIT" echo behind me.

To this day, I feel like a monster. I hate people that do that. I hate myself.

tl;dr: I became the reason you don't wear sandals into a rest stop bathroom.