I started taking percocets a month ago. I have an ACL tear and meniscus tear in my left leg. it happened in D.C. and interestingly, the D.C. doctors gave me a shitload of percs. i have been using them for a month (i started on the 2nd/ 3rd week of april) and i did not have any thoughts of addiction or anything like that at all. on may 5, i arrived home in bay area, cali and i only had like 10 more percs left (AND i did not feel addicted to it at all, literally.) it wasn't until when my parents planted the thought of me being to addicted and they felt that i could be an addict. (they were worried and i did not blame them at all), but strangely, since they began to worry, i immediately felt like i was an addict. couple of days later, i ran out of my percs and i thought i could move on. i actually could, and it was my stupid mistake to play basketball with my friends with an ACL tear (i have a surgery scheduled in june or july) and it popped again. it was quite painful and my immediate response was to get painkillers. i went to my primary doctor on the next day to review my MRI results. he gave me lodine and i had to ask for painkillers, he refused to gave me percs because he felt that it was highly addictive. instead he gave me 40 pills of norcos and since then, i do feel somewhat addicted to it. (strangely, i do feel that it could be my parents' fault for implanting the thought of me being an addict in my mind). lately i have been more anxious and insecure in general, with and without my norcos. i can see how dangerous this could be but i am confident that i will be able to get out.
by getting out, i plan to kill my last batch of norcos by may 26, and on june 1, i'll be flying to maryland to visit my lady and i am sure ill receive plenty of stimulus in MD (with my lady, friends, barhopping and parties.) I will get back in late june for my surgery (which means ill be getting plenty of oxycontin) and i have to admit i am looking forward to this. however, by august i will return to my college and i am confident i will be able to drink alcohol, making it as my drug and painkillers won't be a problem. however, if i do go back to college and still maintain my use of painkillers, i think that would be the real problem but i honestly doubt i'll end up like that.
let me share you a video about addiction. here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg
watch this video, and it gave me a better understanding about addiction and i do feel that i can relate to this. right now, i am back at home and i do not have that much friends in my hometown (recently moved to a different city) and all of my friends are in the DMV area. pretty much, i feel like i am the rat (in the video) who is in my own cage with water and painkillers. once i fly back to MD in june and my college in DC in august, I will be in the "rat park" where there would be alot of stimulus and i would forget about the painkillers.
lately, i have been limiting myself with 4 pills of norcos (i usually take them at once during nights only and i refuse to take them during the day, i do not want painkillers to be part of my lifestyle). i would just watch couple of movies, read stuff on the internet or play video games.
damn, that sounds painful. nerves are critical in our body and i cannot imagine damaging/losing them. i am glad that you had your nerves repaired and i am curious, exactly what and how much did you take that got your nerves damaged due to the sleeping position? also, i am glad to hear that you're doing better today and man, i will be more than happy to help ya out if possible. how long have you been taking pills and have you ever tried reaching out for help? i know it is never this easy, but i do hope that the opiate monkey'll hop off from your shoulders in the near future. i had a friend of mine who's simply deep lost in the world of painkillers and heroin. it is sad how he has his own priorities, and he would choose the chance of getting high over anything else. all of us have tried helping him, even his family, but it seems that we are simply powerless.
hope to hear from you soon, -C