Most guys who are like this had moms who enabled this behavior and who usually pre-anticipated all their needs (had the towel hung in the bathroom, the clothes laid out and at the meer sign of eye problems, leapt to get them their eyedrops).

You've got years of conditioning to undo. Even my ex, whose mom had two boys and worked full time, and was therefore required to do more self-care, had a lot of help from his mom. Breakfast was on the table right when each person wanted it, etc.

Now, once or twice a year during important stressful events, most of us regress to being helpless babies - but an adult knows when that's happening/likely to happen and does what they can to prevent it. For example, I made sure I had cleaned the kitchen and then put out the components for my breakfast in a corner and that I made my own cold-pressed coffee. I laid out some of my clothes and laundered/put away a bunch of stuff in case I changed my mind (public speaking thing I have to do in half an hour). This is not high stress, but it's also not the time for me to be running around like a chicken.

So first, he has to be encouraged to get ready the night before. I don't know how you accomplish this except to tell him and if it were my relationship, each of us would politely ask the other if they had remembered to do whatever it is. There are a series of things I need to do today and I got ready last night. I keep a running list of things I need to do on my computer and while I'm doing my morning reddit reading, I check the list (and I check it the night before).

You can say, "Honey, you know you'll be cranky in the morning if you don't have the towel ready in the bathroom and your toothbrush next to your toothpaste; if you think you'll need eyedrops, put them out on the bathroom counter."

This is still playing the executive role in his life, but, well, he's acting like a child in the morning and you need him to realize it's not just saying "I'm sorry" but it's also conceding that he doesn't know how to run his life very well.

The good news is that normal people really do learn to do these things and it makes them happier. When he's not cranky, give him a hug or at least smile at him and say something nice. He's stressed from school and very disorganized, sorry to say.