Your entire comment chain here is excuse after excuse after excuse after excuse after excuse.

Clearly, you need these pills. You need them like you need air to breathe. There's absolutely no other way you can function without these pills. There is not a single other option you can try. You don't even want to bother trying the other options, because you already know it's not going to work. It's career suicide, it's too painful, you're under a lot of stress, there's a waiting list to get to a counselor, there's no other counselors in the world who can see you, there's no other doctors in the world to talk to, any other pain killer will upset your tummy, there is just absolutely no other possible option in the world except these particular addictive pain pills that will help you.

But no, you're not an addict. Just like every other addict in the world isn't an addict either.

I am sorry to say this, but career suicide is about to be the last of your problems. Career suicide has already been committed. You are addicted to pain pills, you are deeply in denial, and you have so many excuses not to quit that you're just going to remain addicted until things are so out of your control that your career is going to end no matter what. I'm really sorry. You have a long and painful road ahead of you. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I truly hope you can get the help you need. I would say "before it's too late", but judging by your responses, it's already too late. I am so sorry.

There is hope. My good friend has just celebrated her 5-year clean anniversary. She has not used pain pills in over five years, and this is a huge celebration for her. It has been an uphill battle for her. But five years clean is 5 years clean, and I am really proud of her. It can be done.