I'm gonna ignore the huge cocaine-encrusted elephant in the room and just address the breastfeeding thing, 'cause I'm currently breastfeeding my son, so I feel like that's where my expertise lies right now.

It's a very high-maintenance activity. If you're gonna pull shit like this you at least need to plan ahead and bottle feed the kid milk that you've pumped previously. Breastfeeding moms still have some of the same dietary restrictions as pregnant moms (drugs and alcohol being the obvious one) plus a few new ones, since some medications that are safe for pregnant women are not safe or have not been tested for safety during breastfeeding (and vice versa,) plus you now need to handle the dietary needs of the baby, which can mean cutting certain allergens out of your own diet if your kid can't handle them, or fixing your own unhealthy eating to make sure baby gets what they need. You need to stay very hydrated, it takes more water to keep you hydrated, you need to make sure you're getting enough protein, there's a whole bunch of crap you're supposed to eat (like oatmeal and flaxseed) to help you produce more milk, and that's not even getting into the functionality side of things, i.e. needing to pump to relieve engorgement if you're gonna be away from your baby (I can't imagine she took her breast pump out partying with her) and breast pads to keep milk off your clothing, and all this snap-off "nursing" clothing you're supposed to buy so you can whip out a nipple in three seconds flat. Breastfeeding is a big commitment, it requires work and maintenance and constant consideration, and I'm over here with my husband requesting I not eat eggs because when I do our baby has the most horrendous farts, so I'm more than a little unamused to hear about a nursing mom doing fucking cocaine.

Breastfeeding is an emotional subject for a lot of women. There's a lot of pressure to do it, a lot of ideas about what it takes to be a "good" mom are tied up in it, and stopping breastfeeding can cause a hormone crash that's essentially late-onset postpartum depression, so I do understand why your girlfriend might've decided to nurse your baby anyway, but that doesn't mean that it was a good decision. Bottom line is, she either needs to cut that crap right out, or you're switching to formula. Like, right now. Some mothers have to stop breastfeeding because they need to be on perfectly normal prescription medication, like drugs for blood pressure or seizures. If perfectly normal medication sometimes requires formula, fucking cocaine definitely does.

And just an aside, my husband would probably (justifiably) murder me if I took my boobs and went partying and left him with the baby all night. Handing off the child always involves a lot of warning on my part, as well as a brief tour of the kitchen to point out where I left the pumped milk and all the bottle-feeding supplies. It's not an "lol I'm going out, have fun with the child I normally feed with my body" kinda thing. I'm waiting until he's on solids to resume my hobby of putting lots of vodka into my face and hugging everyone. Because I'm a fucking parent now, goddamnit.