It takes less than five minutes to cook a steak, ten to twenty minutes to cook meatballs or chicken. You'll still be in bed before ten.

You're being extremely demanding. This should not be a case of "I'll let you be a stay at home mom if you meet these demands" but "How can we divide tasks so that both of us can still function normally." Delivering and raising a baby takes huge amount of energy and time. Especially in the first few months it will be at least equivalent to a full-time job, if not more.

And how will you be 'in charge of baby' when coming home at eight, too tired to cook a steak? Will you feed it every hour, throughout the night? Change its diapers several times when you want to sleep and need to get up early for work? Walk around with a crying baby on your arm for hours because you don't know what's making it so unhappy?

It sounds like you have no idea what's in store for you and your wife. Don't look at previous generations for guidance, look at the current one. Read books or blogs (or /r/daddit) for modern ways to take care of a baby and each other. Be supportive of each other, instead of demanding. You both need to communicate about what you need instead of what you deem fair.

And keep communicating, because those needs will change constantly. She had a horrible night with baby crying nonstop? You do all the cooking that night. Your work load was crazy and the roads are gridlocked? Call her to ask if she can cook some vegetarian "meatballs" for you tonight. Both of you exhausted? Cook together or call for takeout. Or prepare now by cooking double portions every time and freezing half for later. Be a team tackling the issues together.