Eh, I realize some of y’all are getting your panties in a jumble about how ‘terrible’ this situation sounds, but, I honestly feel like there is nothing we can say or do to change this outcome.

This lady isn’t going to leave him, and, it sounds like this is has been their dynamic for the entire duration of the relationship (past the IN LOVE phase). Sounds like you guys are starting to realize how much you dislike each other now that the kids are getting older and you no longer are ‘bound’ by kids. I’d suggest reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and start couples therapy. No amount of advice will truly be able to fix the underlying problems of a failing marriage.