He isn't your boyfriend, that's your f buddy. Now how does it feel to give up something sacred such as your virginity at the expense of your future husband? I'm just 18 years old and a male, the mentality of people today towards having casual sex is just disgusting, it ruins so many relationships even in your case. And your boyfriend is using you, don't even need a brain to figure that out. He doesn't care about your well being like a potential husband should and yet you gave him the privilege of a man that would have gone through extreme lengths to make you happy and marry you, yet he doesnt seem to have this intention If he doesn't even care for your health. Go ahead, you keep being you.