totally feel you, lost my dad (58) unexpectedly two months ago, the way I describe my new life is, STRANGE, everything feels strange. My dad was part of my old life, but he doesn’t exist in this new one, making me feel like I’m living someone’s else life, everything is strange, the days look so gloomy and the light are out… you just want to know if this new life has a ending, so you can go back to your old life where everything wasn’t strange to you, these new feelings didn’t exist back them, but unfortunately looks like there isn’t a finish line, basically life is like a video game, you want to unpause the life you had when dad was here but you realized, it wasn’t in paused, it was over…and you can’t start over but you are forced to play a new game, one that isn’t that pleasant.