Several months ago I had a fight with my sister. I said some things I didn't mean. After dine reflection I realized that I lashed out because I'm miserable.

My husband and I spent the last year trying to get pregnant. I've been pregnant twice before (two abortions) so it was absolutely crushing every time my period arrived. I know a lot of you trolls are child free but I hope you believe me when I say I've never experienced anything more devastating than trying and failing over and over and over again. I felt like I was being punished for my past.

Anyway, after the fight I realized I need to get my shit together. I've started therapy and I'm having bariatric surgery tomorrow (I think my weight is causing my infertility issues). Baby-making has been put on hold and I've been feeling much better. I'm excited for surgery but I know the hardest stuff is still yet to come.

I apologized to my sister. I told her why I'd lashed out and about all the things I was doing to get better (therapy & surgery). I asked her to support me through this process and she refused. We haven't spoken in months and today she sends me an email. The day before my surgery. I can't bring myself to read it because, whatever it is, I just can't deal with it right now.

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for letting me vent.