I'm seeing this kind of late but I hope I have something helpful to add. I suffered through 7 years of marital rape and ended up with a severe case of complex PTSD and depersonalization. I used to be so outgoing and I enjoyed dressing up and looking attractive and taking care of myself. After a while, I stopped going anywhere and doing anything. I gained weight because the only thing that gave me comfort was good but also because it made me less noticible. Men didn't look at me anymore which was a good thing because every time men stared at me, it made me feel violated all over again. One reason I hated getting out of he house was the depersonalization issues. I don't know how to describe the feeling other than it feels like I'm standing apart from myself and watching myself from afar. There have been times when I'm sitting somewhere in utter emotional turmoil and fear and anxiety, just staring at the happy, oblivious people passing me and living their lives without a glance in my direction and I feel like there is a giant no-fly zone around me. It is surreal to me in that moment that no one can glance at me and see how broken and messed up I am. Basically I don't feel like a person anymore. I feel like a nothing. Nothings don't deserve love and they don't deserve positive attention or kindness. Nothings wait for someone to hurt them and use them and throw them away. It makes it even worse when you are forced to relive it again and again and again during the legal process. Someone always wants something from you. Hardly a day goes by when I don't get a call from the prosecution team: "Hi Ms FloofyBear. I'm going to need you to write out a statement graphically describing every single detail of every attack you can remember. Yes, I know this is the third time but this is for this tiny motion that is slightly different from the one 3 weeks ago. I'll need that in 2 hours! Kthanksbai!" It feels like living it all over again. I learned to hide it and smile politely and I can function somewhat but I have nothing left that is worth giving anyone else. I feel used and broken and worthless. I'm not trying to get anyone's pity but there's a chance she feels the same way and you should know.