I worked in Special Orders, which most customers took to mean "the line to wait in when you want to complain to a manager." Also where you go to find out where the guy in Electric, Paint, Garden (in the winter), or Hardware might be, apparently.

As a Special Orders taker, I was specifically an expert in the computer system with no actual knowledge of any of the products. Also, as somewhat of a night-owl, I was also usually there at the fun hours where there were no reps in the aforementioned lightly staffed departments. Now, I wasn't responsible or really even apprised of the staffing of those other departments, but it quickly became apparent to me that after 9PM if someone asked me for help in electrical (which I could not provide), my pages were going to ring empty.

So here I am, with no real knowledge of anything, paging the store to no answers. 10 minutes goes by of this person staring at me before they ask for a manager. A manager will always show up, but often begrudgingly and certainly eventually. With a look on their face that says "why am I here now?" We paged them a lot (see above). It's not long before, rather than paging, I just follow the company motto and do my best to answer their questions. This is a futile exercise, since I know nothing. Eventually, doing my best to answer questions becomes bullshitting as best as I can to get them to go away, so that I can get back to whatever mundane task I've got assigned as the late-night desk clerk.

Now, I never answered any questions about electric - that seemed dangerous. But on simpler matters, like 'what kind of paint finish is best for X application' the answer was most certainly eggshell. My favorite questions were when customers asked me to judge their color palette. "Do these colors go together in a room?" "Should I prime this?" I'm pretty sure I'm some wrinkles for a couple people's home improvement projects. As a homeowner now, I feel kind of bad - but then again, don't trust the 19 year old kid working behind the special orders counter with your questions about a Brad nailer. He ain't gonna know.

So, long story for a protip: "Do you work in this department?" before asking questions. A lot of people can cut keys, mix paint, thread pipe. Working the department's machines is easy - that doesn't mean they know shit about it.