First text:

Again I do not know how to say this. But yesterday I made the biggest mistake of my life. When I had ended with you, I felt it was wrong for it to be wrong. I could hardly say it because they weren't the ones I wanted. I didn't want to end up with you. They were the hardest I've ever done and I regret so much.

Why I felt I should end was because of me and not you. You are the best that ever happened to me and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I, as you already know, feel that I am chaos at all levels and try everything I can to solve it. I didn't want you to have to go with them and thought because it was the best like this. But it is not because everything cannot be perfect and I have understood that now. Life always has more or less chaos that one has to get through. And I thought I needed to do them myself, but that's not it. I want to be with you through everything. Even the lowest points in life. I understand that I have broken you completely. What I did / do is not okay in any way. You do not do that with the person you love. I am so sad about them and would do anything to do it right and right. But now it was not so and I have to write this to you. I understand that you are thinking I was fucking stupid and never want to see me again but had to write now. I love you so much so they hurt.have never loved anyone as much as you.

Second text:

I know why I did as I did. As I told you before, I have known that I o my life e chaos and I did not want them to affect you. I didn't want you to be part of those who weren't good with me. I was afraid I took away something that could be better. Someone else who could be better for you. I felt that I was not enough and could give you as a girlfriend should.

I (even otsm m tower) now realize that everything can not be good all the time and such things will happen more times. Life e so. And I want to get through this stuff with you by my side. I want to experience both those who are the most wonderful with you, but also the things that are not as wonderful.

I am again very sorry that I subjected you to this. They weren't okay and I know them. Had managed this differently now. This would never happen again. I would never do so again.

For me, the break was not the solution but more insight that it does not help. When I was with the curator, she said about what I say now that life is not perfect and that you have to accept it. That when you are in a relationship you go through such tsm.

Then I will also work on my self-esteem (even if they are not good, they do not mean that I am not good).

Understand if you want to think. If you want, we wait and Thursday, but you know how I think now.

-- some words might be wrong because I just pasted it into google translate, some abbreviations were used in the text which google couldn't translate