Sorry for the long post. TL;DR: I am wasting my youth and there's nothing I can do about because my parents legally own me and use their authority to control every aspect of my life.
Question. Some people have helicopter parents, I have fucking airforce parents. I'm also sixteen and they are the militant Christian types. I genuinely believe that they are only Christians when they try to control me because they can't manage their anger and curse like sailors. Like, I was too scared to get into mischief when I was a kid because the thought of Jesus always watching me was like having a scary babysitter that you aren't quite sure is sane.
Anyway, after a while of being a goodie-two-shoes, I want out. My parents are the types who assume the worst, like one time I was really tired and my mom thought I was high. They even threatened to get a drug test, but I've never been drunk or high in my life.
Anything I want to get I have to ask them for it, because "if you have nothing to hide then I'll get it for you." The problem is A. they say no to most things that I could otherwise buy and B. of course I can't get the occasional beer for a little fun. They don't let me have a job and my mom is holding my birthday money from my Grandpa hostage (I normally get the money and hide it but my Grandpa gave me a check so she had to cash it in her account but she decided to take it until I "deserve it".)
I can't go sneak out to go to a party because A. my friends don't go (I guess my upbringing makes it hard to socialize with the "party people") and B. my parents actually check on me at night. My mom for some reason has a hard time sleeping and for some fucked up reason she checks just about every night. She also doesn't seem to understand that I need my own space as well... I have a glass door that you can see through. One day she caught me watching porn and yelled at me for like 10 minutes. She said, "Do you know why your aunt left your uncle? PORN?!" I swear sometimes she sounds like Nancy Grace...
If there's ever a moment when I'm not at school, I'm mostly at home or with my parents (they know our family doesn't get along so they try to force it by making me go everywhere with them and my annoying little sister.) If I'm at home, I can't go anywhere fun because the nearest store takes about an hour and a half to walk to and my parents don't usually let me go out anyway. Not to mention the fact that there really isn't anything exciting to do in my area.
Now my parents always seem to think that education is the most important thing in life. Anytime I take a break and play some games or go online? Well, I should be devoting all of my free time to studying! I want to learn guitar? Too bad, it's not a valuable skill in life (never said I wanted it to be a career, just a hobby.) I want to get a gym membership and actually not look like a fat piece of shit? Well those beach guys who flex their muscles are probably unemployed anyway (I fail to understand their twisted logic here.) It's annoying because my dad always says that I don't have a life but he and my mom are the ones keeping me in the chair by making me study all the time. The funny thing is, it's hard to retain the information when all I hear from my parents is how I don't study enough. It makes me want to study less.
I have people I hang out with at school, but it feels forced and I think I have only a handful of people I can call "friends". I've never wanted to commit suicide but there have been times where I felt really shitty and hated my life, and I'm not feeling too good right now either. I feel like I want to escape but my parents control my life and there's nothing to do in my area anyway. My "friends" are always busy and I escape the only way I know how: stress eating and video games.