Sent.
"I came across this thread on Reddit where the author was gloating about the terminal cancer of her rapist. She said he has children and a wife but that no one will ever know. I suggested that the family should know because his children may have been victims. She claims that because one of his daughters was raped by someone else and she they told her, that his children can't possibly be victims, because he wasn't mentioned. Why she didn't mention the fact that she was raped by the girl's father during this conversation, I don't really understand. She claims to be close to the family.
Whether or not that is the case, I told her that his family should know this. I don't see how his wife could go not knowing all those years, and it's likely that she may know, to some degree. It is simply unethical, however, for your "friend" to sit by his deathbed, "bring popcorn and laugh at his suffering" without telling you why. Without telling anyone.
When I argued why his family deserves to know, she provided me with this email. She called herself [Omitted], but that could be a complete lie, so consider the name carefully. She also said the father's name is [Omitted] and "[Personal Information]". I'm sending this email to call her bluff. She told me that your name is [Omitted]. If any of this is true, she's talking about very personal stuff about you and your family to thousands of strangers, but refuses to tell you.
This is the link to the thread:
[Link]
She asked me how this would benefit you. There is no doubt that this sort of knowledge would cause an upheaval and more suffering, but it is not unnecessary. It is absolutely paramount that the truth is known. I was sexually abused as a child by a family member and this came out several years before his death. I was abused because his other victims (my mother and aunt, his two daughters) never said anything. It could have possibly all been prevented if someone stood out and said something.
So why say this about a dead man, who can no longer hurt anyone? Because he has hurt people, and it may explain other strange behaviours from him. Because people ethically deserve to know and investigate the truth about crucial aspects of their lives. Because he is still alive and can still atone for what he has done. A dying person should always be able to make amends, it is a matter of human dignity.
It is ultimately his family's decision how to handle this information. I personally did not laugh at my abuser on his deathbed. I sat by his side and held his hand. Because he was a human being and a member of my family. The feelings regarding an abuser who is also your family member are incredibly complex. I forgave him as a person even though I did not forgive his actions. He was able to die in peace because that is what I, the latest victim, wanted for him. That is not the case for everyone, but they should be given that choice. His family should also, if they choose, be able to protect him in his final moments if they wish to.
If I have sent this to a fake or incorrect email, if this information is entirely false, then I do apologise. You would wish to investigate it thoroughly before drawing any conclusions.
With the Most Respect,
K"
You're welcome.