I agree with this wholeheartedly. The point when suspicions of your SO start to pop up is usually when deep down you know that they are cheating, but you just don't want to admit it and try to find some confirmation from someone else since it's just so hard to admit yourself. 100% of the time even when they say they aren’t being sexual with them or they are just friends… Trust me, they are lying. I know it's hard to accept, but it's true and I've accepted it.

I recently came out of an extremely toxic relationship where my ex cheated on me twice and the sad part is that she tried to blame me for all the shortcomings of the relationship. She even had the audacity to try to downplay it as emotional cheating when an emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one. I'm a very compassionate person, so I gave her a second chance the first time she cheated because I think there is good in some people and everyone deserves a second chance, but she took that chance for granted and basically did the same thing over again. She blamed my resentment towards her and my anger issues as a cover up for going behind my back and having an emotional affair with someone. The only reason I even resented her was because of her mistakes and I don't think it's my responsibility to fix the consequences of her mistakes. She tried to do the ‘we need to better ourselves’ act when all of these problems are BECAUSE of her and the only way we could have fixed them is by working together. I don't believe in breaks... You are either together or you are not. No matter what. My therapist said that all of ‘problems’ my ex listed about me being negative, angry, and resentful are just consequences of her infidelity and she sees nothing wrong with me as a person and said I was kind and compassionate, so the best thing she said to do is cut that toxic person out of my life.

I also never understood why cheaters don't just owe up to their mistakes and tell the truth, but she tried so hard to cover up her tracks and even blatantly lie about it. I just took her bullshit as “Quit making me feel bad about perpetrating the ultimate betrayal on you; I’m too lazy and selfish to work on actually regaining your trust. I’m not going to make time or effort to talk about this because I’m lazy and probably just going to send some nudes to that guy after tonight since being a slut is much easier than having putting any kind of work into this relationship.” I just think she was always a cheater because once a cheater, always a cheater. Once a thot, always a thot. She had an online boyfriend before we got serious, but she never mentioned what happened to him when we got together, so I honestly think she cheated on him for me. Then she cheated on me for him and now she's cheating on me for some guy on a video game and the cycle continues. It's absolutely insane because she's scared away so many of my female friends because she saw them as 'being too friendly' and ended a lot of great friendships I had. I just wish I would have seen the signs earlier because she was most likely projecting her feelings onto my friendships because she's cheated on her ex before.

I have had a lot of female friends over our seven year relationship, but I've never once stepped out of boundaries of our relationship because my love for her and respect for her were more than she would ever get from anyone else. I thought getting friends would be good for her since she doesn't have many, but it became a problem when as soon as she made a male friend she'd want to get on her knees and choke on that fuckers cock. She never saw me wanting to throw every female friend I had on the bed and bang their fucking brains out, but it's obvious she's weak and succumbs to her selfish, narcissistic tendencies. I put up with way more shit than a person would for anyone in a relationship, but I'm actually relieved she cheated on me again. It just showed me how much a toxic, narcissistic, immoral, selfish, and absolutely terrible person she was and that is not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. She has a lot of mental and emotional issues she needs to sort through and I do hope she gets help, but I dodged a bullet in that I won’t be there for her any more than I should have been the first time she shattered my trust.

I'm currently going 3 days with no contact and blocked her on everything because of my fear of her reaching out to me again. I'm also currently talking to an amazing girl right now who is just completely sweet, selfless, and her personality is just so positive and contagious. She was there for me during the first breakup and now this one. I asked her why she even bothers with me and what she said hit me so hard... I’ll just copy it here: 'You're just an amazing, funny, compassionate, and overall once in a lifetime kind of guy. You've left a mark on my life more than anyone else and the fact you gave your ex another chance after all the terrible, inhumane things she’s done to you just goes to show how good of a person you are. You put her feelings, emotions, and her needs above yours because either you’re really stupid or you’re just an absolutely amazing guy and I have to go with the latter. You deserve so much better… “Any normal guy would have left after all the pain she put me through, so I’ve taken my friends words to heart and using that to improve myself as a person day-by-day. All I know is that I don’t see myself ever reaching out to my ex again and if she ever reaches me I’d probably be stupid enough to acknowledge her, but I would never ever take her back. I think she’s too far gone and too much of a lost cause. Unless she pulled some damn miracle out of her ass and tried to win me back over months of rebuilding trust then maybe but most likely not… I would have to see all her chat logs with this guy to even start trusting her. I made the mistake of breaking no contact and poured my heart out to her just for her to still doubt us, so I still do think she’s cheating and just lying to me to make herself feel better. I really do want to believe her more than anything, but I need hard, definitive proof such as chat logs or something because her behaviors and her breaking up with me when I confronted her about this does not add up at all. She lives in a very toxic household, so I know she needs someone to talk to and it's easy to break up with your boyfriend when you have a replacement waiting for you. I told her that I would wait for her and everything, but now I'm regretting that more than ever because the signs point to the obvious.

Anyways, I’m sorry for the long rant, but I just want anyone who is going through this right now to tell yourself that YOU aren’t a problem for someone being weak enough to succumb to infidelity and that you’re all amazing and beautiful people who deserve every ounce of happiness. I hope that my story helps anyone out there who is going through this. This journey for me has been hard, but I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am done thinking about or talking about her from now and I will need to focus on myself.