Heh.. it's been 3 weeks, I've got some shit done, but I still don't value my life and it's slowly diminishing further and further to the whole "sooner or later I'll be taking my own life".
I've had a lot of conversations in real life to people and they only further strengthen my beliefs to how shitty western culture/society is and how change is only within myself, the brain.
I'd like to explain further, but I've already retold this story a bit too much already, but I know there won't be a success story here.
I'll just paste what some of it is
"Today, I went to see the two guys I’ve known since my highschool years and I mentioned to them even though I already knew of, how eastern culture, especially in the Asia continent, how tapped they are into actual mother nature medicine. Herbs, oils, and complete spiritual mediation. It was clear that society is rotten especially in the west when it comes down to having certain judgement and laws. Special mushrooms have been around for centuries and all of this ancient stuff is forbidden in the west. Here’s a [good site](reset.me) to look into and it really has testimonies and real stories about such things.
Moving onto another topic about how western culture has of counsellors or special psychiatrist and therapy is that anyone can actually do any kind of therapy and counselling, because anyone can listen to someone’s problems but how they use the method of treatment is based on what they’ve been taught and learned to gain their so called degree in that field, but those methods are all what they WANT you to hear. Do you really think that trying to have safety measurements to not cut yourselves is good precaution? It won’t change the way that person thinks or if you’re trying to kill yourself by saying “don’t do it” bullshit because it is their lives really and when I said that, the two guys, Kerry and James even agreed and even said “The reason you even bother to continue to come here is because it is real, because as you’ve said, when it comes down to psychological or therapy, they just say shit you expect them to say. We aren’t going to tell you not to kill yourself, it is your own life, you have your own choice and control.” And it is 100% the damn truth, these guys don’t bullshit around with small talk and everyone can be unfiltered and uncensored here.
When I asked of what their title was or what their job duties/responsibilities were, they had no actual answer because it was what it was, anything in regards to complete reality life training as it is called BLT (Basic Life Training) but they did admit that their title was not anywhere near a counsellor. These guys see many and work with many, I can really see that they don’t give a single shit about your own being if you were to take your own life, just as I wouldn’t care about a lot despite being close to someone, because it is true, when you pass away, you are still nonetheless alone and humanity still continues to grow with or without you and 1000 years down the line, not even that many, people will forget you."