Thank you for the reply. It helped cheer me up a bit and I appreciate the kind words.

The social contact thing is certainly a hang up for me. I don’t know if it’s really the only thing contributing to the way I feel, but it certainly is a big contributor. I want camaraderie. I want to feel like there are people that trust me and enjoy my presence and I theirs. I realize most people desire the same thing though and we’re all out here looking for that. It just hurts my soul that I haven’t quite found it. I feel like I should consider myself lucky for my one friend though and my close relationship with my brother because I know there are others out there with less.

I have a hard time talking to people until I get to know them. I think it’s because I have trouble trusting people until I’ve had enough time to feel them out. I used to be a lot worse with it then I am today though. I try to put myself out there more now. I guess I’m actually getting better at it more then I’d like to admit, it just takes time for these changes. I feel like as I’m writing this I’m pulling myself out of the dark hole I dig myself into.

That’s kind of what happens with me. I wake up feeling so low and it’s hard for me get away from that low feeling. But when I really analyze things and remember that these are things everyone deals with I’m usually able to get myself out of the funk.

Sometimes I think all I really need is someone to hug me and let me cry for a minute. I guess everyone wishes they had that.

I almost deleted all this cause it feels almost pointless to read. But your comment was very long and thoughtful, so I figure I’ll go ahead and just hit reply and say thank you.