Brother..

I can empathize more than you may comprehend, but I have no interest in validating your delusion - yes hatred, the most visceral delusion a man can posses.

I lost 300k to options, owed the wrong people money, and was one of the most ruthless narcissists I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. My past still haunts me - I stole, manipulated, and cohersed this wretched addiction into a haunting reality.

But alas! As corny as it sounds, I went out in the woods and did a heroic dose of magic mushrooms. I saw a life worth living and through the fallacies of my egocentric suffering. I envisioned the man I wish to become. I remembered the child I once was for the first time in years. Haven’t problem gambled since.

Perception is incredibly malleable. You are not your thoughts. A mere handful of fungus could decimate the parameters of one’s existence - nothing our feeble minds can render should be taken seriously..

You want to change and have what it takes.

Best