Non Americans of Reddit, how was america taught in your history books?

Lemme preface this with a sarcasm warning

The usual nationalism. We left to seek freedom, expanded rapidly, kicked GB's ass in the rev, pushed back the unsophisticated tribespeople and replaced their way of life with "The American Dream™, kicked mexico's ass, bought a whole bunch of land from a French dude, some indians got sad but it was fine apparently because it was a single paragraph, built the best railroads and civilized the dry dusty hell scape and replaced it with beef and manliness and guns, half the country threw a tantrum because they couldn't own people so we kicked their asses back in line but didn't actually change much other than they couldn't own people anymore, we let the women vote because we're so generous, got in a big fun tussle with our friends across the pond, kicked the germans' ass and made sure they knew it, then some people made bad business choices and tanked the economy for a decade (but who could blame them for just living the capitalist life) and we dug out of it when the germans started getting feisty again for some reason and the and putting people in big concentration camps, which was the greatest evil imaginable (skimming over that we fucking panicked and did the same to Japanese people) and then we kicked the germans ass again and turned our attention on the vicious Japanese who were still being evil, we kicked their asses but decided we weren't doing it fast enough, so we had no choice (big sarcasm right there) to commit not one, but two massive atrocities in the name of that good, tasty Freedom™. After that we were the big boy in the sand box, but there was still a big bad communist who was totally going to kill us, so we pointed our big atrocity machine at them too, but then they pointed one back, so obviously we were in the right to inch our finger closer to the button until they chickened out, which was awesome and everybody loved us after that.

Oh, there was also Korea and Vietnam. We were there, but the results don't matter so we can speed through that.

Obviously this is really fucking biased, and you can imagine my immense rage in learning that basically all the shit they fed us was condensed lies sprinkled with the little bits of truth they couldn't get away with embellishing. US history in reality is a non stop story of colonialism, violent wanton destruction and a disregard for human life, all for the sake of money, power, and the freedom of a select few. A lot of the big modernized first world countries have dark secrets and shitty spells, but the US has constantly, ever since the first puritans stepped their judgemental feet on the coast, made epic strides in the business of fucking over other human beings for the benefit of the few, the "civilized", the capitalist, and the white.

/r/AskReddit Thread