God this is me, including the well-enough paid spouse. I now have a part time job that I can do at my own pace at home without my boss involved much, but before that I was unemployed for a year trying to do children's books. I'm still trying, but not having enforcement makes it hard- not having that direct guilt or reward of deadlines is really difficult and just replaced with general existential dread. Try getting your wife involved, make a schedule for yourself of some kind, see if she'll help be your "boss" who can on deadline days, check your work to see if you've done enough. That is the biggest help for me with my husband but I have to push him to push me usually.