Turnt: No sense of control, can't construct any positive sentence, the opposite of who I am, ending the night full of regrets and covered in my blanket made out of soft wool and shame. The rest of the week is spent of pure guilt and hate for myself.
Drunk: Semi tolerable. Jokes and roast game is pure gonnerhiac flames from the sweaty crevices of Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan's NBA Finals Game 6 Du-Rag. Down for whatever. Hit and miss with the females but confidence is at 100HP regardless of rejection. Will buy the whole squad fast food and still end up ordering more food for myself. Will also buy enough rounds to certainly kill an entire Village in a mandatory game of Russian Roulette for the squad. Money isn't an issue as long as everyone is having fun. Certainly a sloppy coordinated kisser and will grab your ass at the club and dissapear into the shadow realms. Better dancer when solo and on a wall as I start throwing up math equations in the air and thugfully not rounding to the nearest decimal cause I stay point, bitch. Not a thug, and definitely shouldn't do this. It's Lil'Wayne's fault.
Tipsy: Fully aware of my surroundings. Most likely the designated driver. Not paying too much attention for personal gain as I have 20/20 visual on females giving members of my team lady boner cues that they might have missed and overlooked. Also providing special detail of potential ladies that brought their boyfriend along to prevent drama and mistakes a friend might make. Will still buy drinks and double check my squad if they're somewhat alright. All in all I will try and converse with sober/functional women just to chat. Not much of an after hours eater these nights and definitely have Godly like hearing tuned in to opposing gentlement at the club in case potential drama might pop off.
Sober: Empathetic thanks to my generalized anxiety. Charasmatic at work and will even worry and check myself if any mistakes are made big or small. Often batteling negative thoughts and mistakes I've had won't stop replaying in my head. Absolutely dread reading my texts and phone logs when I was turnt/drunk and often wish I could just throw away my phone entirely. Focused at work and undeniably motivated at the gym regardless if I worked 10 days straight on 12 hour shifts. Would love to settle down but refuse to until I am completely happy with myself and good enough to share. Willing to lay all my regrets and drunken mistakes down and tell my potential partner with my biggest fear of it being a huge red flag resulting in possibly my last turnover in the game and hanging up the jersey for a retirement on relationships. On and off with the drinking, keeping my head up to quit permanently. Occupied with my cooking skills, gym, and supporting my child as a single parent, I don't really need much else. My pyramid scheme is simply a foundation (house + child) supporting my aspirations and resources (career + material things) topped off with a bad ass bitch to share it with and I'll be good. Not worried how long it'll take.