Not quite an office story but it takes place with a coworker and it's worth sharing I feel

Last night I met with a coworker and we ended up going back to hers. Now due to drinking without sleep for two days straight and whatnot I couldn't get hard. I ended up going down on her, a bit of rimming. She then went to give me a blowjob more akin to using mouthwash (minus the gargle unfortunately) because of the softness of my poor little trouser shrew. I then felt a bit of lift so I then proceeded to thumb in a softie and do what little I could with my almost fully soft pork sword (well more of a pork butter knife at that moment). And after a minute or two of the most degrading half arsed excuse for sex I've ever unleashed onto a poor unsuspecting woman we decided to call it a night. I have to go in tomorrow where I fully expect the whole shift to know the gory details. Let crushes stay that way with coworkers kids, if it doesn't go as planned you'll have an interesting day at work to look forward to in the near future.