Is it okay if he [28] thinks he may not want to marry me [F 22]?

I have to mention here than I do not intend to get married any time in the next 2 years at least. I believe I am still quite young and I want to wait until doing this huge step. The thing is I always imagined my boyfriend possibly the one I commit to.

He also mentioned wanting to see how the relationship progresses which I find completely normal, it's what I want as well.

I don't really see much difference between what you are saying and what he is saying. He's not thinking about marriage right now. You're not thinking about marriage right now. What's the problem? If you aren't ready for it now then you can't fault him for not being ready for it, regardless of what reasons either of you may have. You've been together a year. Maybe he's still mulling over how he feels about making this a permanent thing. There are plenty of threads in this subreddit where girlfriends and boyfriends do a total 180 a few years into the relationship, so you can't fault him for not ring shopping a year into a relationship.

Being unsure about it all or not being comfortable talking about it is perfectly reasonable. As a guy, there's a LOT of pressure put on you to have the timing down perfectly and do everything the standards of the people around you and it can be hard to listen to your heart instead of to friends and family who constantly ask you "when are you going to propose?" "Are you going to get married?" "Do you need help getting her ring size?" and all sorts of annoying questions. I can assure you the thought has crossed his mind, but it's not really fair to force those thoughts out into the open. Spoiler alert: He's not sure and didn't want it to sound bad and that's okay right now.

As long as you are on the same page about whether or not marriage is something you both want (disregarding the "who" part of it) then there's no reason to believe that your relationship isn't headed in the right direction. If he says that he doesn't want to be married at all and this doesn't jive with how you feel about it, then it's a different question you're asking.

All that said, I gotta be honest: Having spent the last decade married, marriage isn't as big of a step as people want to believe. It's an expense. It's a huge time commitment with planning and all that. It's not much different than dating except that you're financially tied to the other person and whatnot. All the rituals of courtship and dating are behind you and then you're strangely comfortable farting in front of each other.

/r/relationships Thread