We are really similar in a lot of ways. I guess the big difference is that even during the worst phase, I was living far enough to mostly talk over skype with them, so I managed to pretend to be happy for half an hour. That also allowed me to make up a lot about my life without them being able to find out.

I have absolutely nobody else friend-wise, since a side effect of cutting yourself off from the world for 5 years is that nobody is waiting to say hi by the time you come back.

Same here, and about 5 years as well. But I don't care about those people anymore, they are just strangers now to me as well. I became perfectly ok with not having friends, and I am a very different person now anyway. There was a time where it was all very difficult.

All this shit aside, there is so much pressure of what you're supposed to be doing with your 20ies. Look at reddit a bit, many good people feel behind at that point. I think there is some weird stage for a lot of us where we realize we left that safety and became adults, but we aren't there at all, and it causes insane anxiety. It doesn't help that it is impossible to relate with people who are doing well because we have a totally different mentality.

I've seen total mediocrity handle this phase the best.

I am far from being able to say I made it out or that things will be good now, but these were my 20ies. Fuck what they were supposed to be, this is the reality of them, and this is who I am now. I didn't find my life theme or whatever people are supposed to do. Maybe not belonging anywhere is where I belong. I am not happy, but I am not nostalgic either and I don't think I would be happy somewhere else. It's just a work in progress, all the time. You think you stagnated but you're not a static person, you were changing through it all.

So fuck it.