Hello! For no particular reason, I've decided to turn this into a Seinfeld script.
INT - JERRY's apartment.
KRAMER: I'm telling you, Jerry! It's the country life for me! Corn syrup! It's in everything - it's in our cola, it's in McDonald's -- I'm just cutting out the middleman! It's all I eat now! I'm loving it!
GEORGE comes rushing in.
GEORGE: Kramer! Kramer, I need your help!
KRAMER: Wha - uh - sure, George. What is it?
GEORGE: I need you to use Mr. Cushman's toilet.
JERRY: Makes sense.
ELAINE: Wait a minute, wait a minute. George, what are you talking about?
GEORGE: I'm in big trouble. Someone's been using Mr. Cushman's toilet and, y'know -- leaving it. He thinks I've been doing it! He's going to fire me!
JERRY: Why does he think you did it?
GEORGE: Because I did it.
JERRY: Now THAT makes sense.
ELAINE: George, what is wrong with you?
GEORGE: Alright, alright, I know, I'm disgusting. Can we get past that already? I need your help.
KRAMER: I'll do it.
GEORGE: Hopeful: Really?
JERRY: Surprised: Really?
KRAMER: Of course. And shame on you, Jerry! Shame on you, Elaine! Don't you know the country saying? If it's yellow, let it mellow. Our friend George should be commended for his good sense! Look at you two city mouses, flushing five times a day! You'll ruin the septic tank!
JERRY: Kramer, we live in Manhattan!
KRAMER: Ah-ah-ah! Shame!
GEORGE: Thank you, Kramer. But, uh - one thing. It's brown.
KRAMER: Brown?
ELAINE: Oh, George...
JERRY: The unyellow mellow!
ELAINE: Why on earth would you do that?
GEORGE: I like to, uh... I cut it with my, uh, stream.
JERRY: Oh boy...
GEORGE: You don't understand. Do you lone what my life is? Every day I go to work, and then I go home, and what do I have? No wife. No children waiting for me. No hobbies to take pride in.
JERRY: No prospects.
ELAINE: No fashion sense.
GEORGE: Yes. Anyway, the point is--
ELAINE: No good looks!
JERRY: You're physically unfit!
GEORGE: Yes, okay! Thank you! You get it! The point is, I work for that man every day, and what do I get in return?
JERRY: A fair pay check with reasonable benefits?
GEORGE: I get to log his toilet! This is the only happiness in my life, let me have it! I need your help, Kramer!
KRAMER: I -- I can't do it!
GEORGE: What? Why not?
KRAMER: I'm all backed up!
JERRY: It's all that corn syrup! You've gotta stop drinking it!
KRAMER: But -- but -- I'm loving it!