Within ten months my mother died and my wife left me unexpectedly. I adored my wife, we never fought. I'd be lying if I said the grief wasn't unbearable and I didn't have some of those thoughts. But then I considered that I didn't actually want to die - I just didn't want to keep living in the state of grief that I was in. I recognized I was living through an acute crisis - and the grief I was experiencing would pass. Boy, talk about incredible pain. I considered what it would do to the people around me - my family - and I decided to give myself the time and effort. I also remembered the quote of the survivor that jumped from the Golden gate Bridge when they jumped - having realized in a moment of clarity that everything in their life could have been fixed except for having just jumped. I also considered that I'd die one day anyway, so I might as well give it hell and pick myself up and become the person I always wanted to be. It's easier now, and I feel like I'm coming out on top out of this.