"It sounds like you don't understand what severe gender dysphoria is like"

You sound judgemental.

I was a kid. They told me I could get rid of these feelings through a surgery. That I would take medicine for a long time. They said it would have my body match my thoughts. That I would finally look how I see myself.

I was very excited by this prospect. I asked questions about it. The last question I asked is, "If I get married and my wife and I want children, can we have them?" They said no. I asked why and they said the science wasn't here yet.

For me, happiness was a family and a matching body. I knew then I would never have my life the way I wanted it. I asked if I could wait for the surgery and they said yes of course, I had plenty of time. I took 6 months of counseling and decided against changing it. To me, because women have the freedom to dress male, act male, and even be aggressive in society, to have a wife,...I could handle (as in I could live with it, but I would never be comfortable in my own skin) living with a female body. Coming to this conclusion required a lot of therapy by the way and did not change how I saw myself at all. If I did not have the freedom to dress as I did, to speak as I do, to act as I do...I would have opted for the surgery even if I could never have children.

Male to female trans can not wear dresses, speak feminine, wear make up, and be who they are publicly without fear of being beaten or discriminated against. For female to male trans, this is not the case. Often there is a discriminatory attitude, being called butch, a tom boy, boyish, etc. However, there are less beat downs, or none. Some just accept that you are "gay" or a "little bi" when it's not just that, but that you see yourself as a male when you are female.

As for my diagnosis, do you have one?

If you have the luxury of caring about children, that's super. I don't give a shit about children because I'm just trying to survive.

I wanted to have a happy life and like I said that was part of it. I am not a man completely if I can not do what a man can do, which is to sire children. It was a measuring stick as to whether the surgery would actually cure my problem or mask it. I see it as a band aid to the real problem.