I have never met anyone else who has felt this way! I've tried talking to so many people about it and no one seems to understand and it made me feel so alone. You described it so so so well. Some days I try to get myself excited about my future, living on a farm with all these rescue animals and then I sink back down into the thoughts you just described realizing that none of this means anything. I hate being aware of my existence and living in a world where people created whats important, I hate thinking of all the other animals we've taken this place from and I cant comprehend why people care about other people more than other living things.