I was sort-of a "white collar junkie" for the period of time I was actively on dope. Only actually getting high on special occasions, or once a weekend.

Opiates are the number one, best psychiatric medicine I've ever used. All the psychiatrists I've had (and many that I haven't had) say they are probably the most effective psych meds out there, until one succumbs to addiction. Not dependency, one is most likely already dependent, but full-fledged, junkie-style addiction.

I have felt intense anxiety and depression since I was 8 years old. Always thought about EVERYTHING more than the average kid, and probably even the average person. It only got worse with age, when a genetic disorder began causing intense joint and nerve pain.

SSRIs (Prozac, Lexapro, etc.) never did shit, except maybe keep me from feeling a period of "high" highs, in contrast to my usual low lows. Just stayed less low than normal.

Benzodiazepines (xanax, valium, klonopin, etc.) "fixed" my anxiety for a few hours, but left me stupid. And still extremely depressed+suicidal. I'd be acting a damn fool, forgetting things, saying things I wouldn't say, and what have you. More likely to act on stupid, usually dangerous to myself impulses.

Making great money, using successfully, and safely, with medical spec saline solution for mixing shots, frsh needles every time, micron filters, reducing my dope to its purest form and weighing it out to milligram doses.

I was dependent, but not an addict.

Then, personal shit happened, missed work for a while. Started running out of money. Long story short, I became an addict, a junkie.

It's possible to sustain use, and be extremely successful. I know extremely wealthy people who are still doing so today. Something about having the supply, and money for more, knowing you're always safe. It prevents one from always using more, more, more, prevents chasing that high.

I'm now clean from dope, and doing well on Suboxone maintenance.

On a sidenote, an extremely low dose form of buprenorphine (long lasting, slow to kick in, partial opioid agonist used for Suboxone maintenance therapy) has just recently been tested as an anti-depressant with great results.