A bit late here, but sharing my thoughts for what it's worth.
Best friend since school days, had a love marriage with a relative despite opposition from her parents. She got pregnant in the final year of college. Gave up her first job as her husband didn't want her working. Separated once, due to violence. I didn't hear from her, then she told me things were fine again. The husband's sister's marriage finally got settled and the wedding got over. The violence started again, and my friend left. Seeing her daughter cowering in fear was her wake-up call. They finally got divorced, but she had to forego child support. During the years while the case was in court, the daughter would literally start shivering if she even heard his name mentioned. Friend now works to support herself and her daughter, and her parents have been fairly supportive of her throughout.
Friend from college had an arranged marriage. She had her doubts, but was told that this was usual in an arranged marriage and she would 'adjust' slowly. She was back home within a month of marriage. It took months for her to open up and tell people about her abuse, some of it was physical. The guy had even tried to get her certified mentally ill. My friend's sister tried to get them to reconcile, but my friend was reluctant to go back. She was initially worried about the stigma to her family, but then started working again, and finally got divorced, but thankfully her family is also fairly supportive.
I met a friend (a guy) and we were talking about domestic violence, and he said he'd seen his father beat his mother a few times, and it was not unusual. He told me that educated women have egos which clash with that of their husbands', so some violence is bound to happen.
We should probably just acknowledge that domestic abuse exists, and both men and women can be victims. A couple of things I believe would help - lessening the stigma of being a victim of abuse (be it a man or a woman) and having some kind of help/support system in place. But finally, it's upto the victim to get out of the situation (sad as it is, people do sometimes tend to go back to their abusive partners or date other abusive people).
(And about the last line in OP's rant - people do get carried away while ranting and maybe exaggerate things. And though I have met a few men who think violence is 'normal', I have mostly met wonderful Indian men, so I'm taking OP's last line as something written in the mood and not something meant literally).