You don't understand. My mother is syrupy sweet kindness 99% of the time and then snaps into terrifying. I'm irritable all the time because if I'm the least bit kind my daughter expects me to obey her every demand and bend over backwards like my mother does.

Every time I come home from work I promise myself I won't act angry with my daughter and I am literally forced to go back on that within an hour because of her behavior. Last week we tried to have lunch together to transition and she was trying to climb into a high chair, I asked her to stop and she did not so I stood up and lifted her to put her in it and she did a backbend and forced me to drop her while screaming for my mother. And my mother started lecturing me as if I'd done something wrong. Later, at the end of the meal my daughter refused to put on her coat, got a glimmer in her eye and a smirk, spun in a circle for like 3 minutes before falling down and making "snow angels". I just stood there waiting to see how my mother would handle this because this is unlike anything I've ever seen my daughter dare to do. My mother smiled at her, clapped, and was going to try again with the coat before I intervened and had my daughter walk to the car immediately with no coat. She screamed the whole way (it was drizzling) but what else could I do? My mother REWARDS her for misbehaving, I have to be harsh.