My most recent heart break was the end of a four year relationship. Well at first I didn't want to get over anything. It sucked and I tried to rationalize that we could still be friends and maybe things would be different in the future. I cried to my ma and had some serious talks with my step dad and other friends. A lot of people were around me to be there if I needed it.

Eventually though my step dad told asked me if I loved myself. I didn't know how to respond. What does he mean do I love myself? Of course I do don't I? But then it dawned on me over the next few days. As the love blinded eyes started to wear off I began to see myself for who I was. I wasn't the man who thought I had everything together. No I was a fat, out of shape, no style, I had ridiculous facial hair, my friends I had pushed away, and I had no plans for the future.

So I began to hit the gym. I began to groom myself. I began to go out with my friends. I decided try and figure out what I wanted to accomplish in my life. At the very least what the plan was for the next year education wise. You know a couple months later I was doing well, I had begun to lose weight and people began to tell me I was looking very well and happy for once in my life. And it helped a lot to move on past my breakup. I still work on myself to this day.

But you know, I still would talk about her a lot without even noticing. I guess I wasn't completely over it as much as I thought or would like. A friend of mine suggested to me that maybe I should try what he did for his breakup. Every time I thought of her think of something else. And I did. Every time I thought of her I'd remember what my friend said and think of anything else.

And eventually that did a lot. I thought of her very little and when I did I'd do that little mental exercise. Eventually I met someone who I liked and my ex almost became a thing of the past. I thought of this person constantly, and was able to just not be affected anymore by thoughts of my ex. While nothing came from it, what I realized was that hey I guess I can have feelings for someone else.

I won't lie and say my ex doesn't creep up every now and then, but at this point I'm able to just think about her like I would any other thought. The experience is just another memory and I don't really feel much, if anything, at all towards my ex. At this point I've got a lot of things going on in my life and don't really care anymore. While I'm not sure if I even want to date anyone else at the moment, I do know that it's not the end of the world to be by yourself.

You'll get through it. It doesn't have to be the way I did it. Many people throughout this thread have commented on their effective solution. Whatever helps you is what helps and I just hope you're doing it on a healthy way and that you come out stronger on the other side.