Hi, I want to tell you that what has happened to you will only make you a stronger and ore knowledgable person. Break ups are hard especially when they are long and coupled with depression, I have experienced depression alone so I don't know if I have any right to compare. For starters lay off the drinking it only fuels the effects, enhancing your emotions to unstable levels, believe me. We all make mistakes and they are right it is what makes us human. Again I'm sorry your relationship has ended but it is all the more better knowing that someone else who is so much more better and more understanding of you is out there somewhere - all the more reason to keep on living in hopes of love, I know I do. Know this my friend you are not as bad as other people, everyone has their sins or their shames it's what personalises us and the friends we have who are accepting of the person we are. It sounds ass though you have a lot to look forward to. job security and life - an endless source of possibilities and chances. This world and it's struggles can be shared. I care about you and your life okay. I 'd hate for you to think this is the end when there was something I can do, so if things in life are heavy please talk thing through with a friend or message me over this. I know its hard to think me as genuine in what I say but everything I type I type with meaning and purpose and it's for you. You are not a bad person you are human, an imperfect clump of cells created by chance, just like me - maybe it's unfortunate that we became sentient. I'm glad we are because now we can connect with each other and care for one another and acknowledge this. Death is scary so why accept it, stand strong and fight it because I know you can, and I want to help you fend off such awful thoughts of inadequacy and finality. Sorry if some parts are incoherent, all the more reason to know that what I am saying is what I am currently thinking. Please message me if you want to talk, I care and am willing to use my time for you.